Reflections on Eli

*******Warning******Sentimintal Post ahead**********

So I feel the need to write, mainly this is for myself, but I want to share my thoughts with family and friends too. I'll be celebrating my 20th anniversary with Eli's heart on a Hot Air Balloon ride, and promise to post photos after the event.

Though all of you know I had a heart transplant on June 8, 1990; some of you might not know that 3 years ago, when I was pregnant with Nolan, I found out my donor's name, birthdate, and that the date of the vehicle accident was not the same date I received the "call" for a new heart.

Now as the different "anniversaries" approach, for some reason I find myself thinking about his family and wondering how they are coping. I think since I've become a mother myself, I can only imagine what his family must have gone through during the 4 days following the accident. I think to myself, "It's June 3rd. Today is the day of Eli's accident. I wonder how his mom is doing?"

I know as a parent, that date would be imprinted in my memory forever. Over the course of the next few days, the heartache and revelation that their son would not survive must have been agonizing. And then to make the ultimate self-less decision to donate his organs, I cannot even fathom the anguish of such events.

I find myself wondering if Eli graduated high school yet? He would have turned 18 in September, did he graduate the weekend before his accident? June 7th was a Thursday, perhaps he was to graduate that weekend, perhaps even the date of my transplant. These are the crazy thoughts I have during this time of year and the reason I wish his family felt the need to contact me, as I feel the need to want to know about Eli.

However, I do have to say that I am VERY grateful for the information I do have. I feel very fortunate to have found out his name so I could honor him by giving Nolan his middle name (Scott wasn't keen on Eli :) ) and to know that Nolan was born 2 days before Eli's birthday seems very poignant to me for some reason.

I'll end with a poem from a dear friend that ironically I've never met (but hope to someday), but have gotten to know over the course of the past 6 years (or so). She wrote it for me 4 years ago for my 16th anniversary

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One family's loss on that tragic day

Another family waiting for word

One soul to another

Like sister and brother

Forever bound by what had occurred


A second chance, with one life to live

Who could ask for anything more?

Waiting for tests

Hoping for the best

Not knowing what might be in store


The girl grew into a woman

So many years have gone by

Passing all expectations

Getting through complications

A life changed in the blink of an eye


Along came a man named Scott

He made all her dreams come true

A love to endure

Untainted and pure

Together a future they grew


Then a new life was beginning

She would make her appearance soon

A gift from above

Proof of their love

A little girl to make her Daddy swoon


Looking back on that day 16 years ago

Who could know the gift it would bring

Sweet Leah to raise

And a husband to amaze

Things that make a heart want to sing!


A mother and father who got their wish

That their girl would get past being a teen

She inspires us all

With all things big or small


She is our very own lovely Jillybean!